Movies and Pastoral Care

I’m trying to catch up on watching some of the movies from the past year that I wanted to see but didn’t have time to get myself to the movie theater. I did manage to see La La Land on the big screen, which I’m so happy about because all that singing and dancing needed the expansive space to do it justice. Last night I saw, on my little computer screen, Manchester by the Sea. Wow! Interesting film. I love seeing parallels in movies between what is going on with the characters and relating that to other situations I encounter like pastoral care, family dynamics, scripture readings, or current social issues. Manchester by the Sea is rife with real issues—the characters deal with addiction, family dysfunction, denial, tragedy, forgiveness, or lack or forgiveness, unconditional love, emotional growth, decision making, death, obligation versus willingness, and acceptance.

It is not a movie with a Hollywood ending. Some might call it a sad ending, but I’d call it a wise ending—one that requires me to ponder the decisions made and if they were the most loving for all involved parties. It has an ending that is lacking in many movies today—it depicts real life. Many of the issues I listed above are ones that I encounter in my pastoral care settings. As I watched the movie, I found myself imagining how I might interact with the characters, especially one of whom seemed hopeless. How does one, as a pastoral care giver (or any caring person) deal with hopelessness? Do we accept someone’s desire to be hopeless knowing that we cannot change that person? Why is it that we want happy endings when we know that life is rarely a series of neat, tidy endings, but a series of hopefully wise decisions that involves considering how to best love everyone involved? I know that God never gives up on us, but how do I convey that to the hopeless? Prayer, prayer, prayer is the only thing coming to mind at the moment…